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I walked down this candlelit hallway to where an Asian lady stood at the end. She grabbed me by the hand.

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We walked up the stairs and into a massage room. Instead, this is what I think she was trying to say:.

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kassage I did. She began by going at my back, hitting the nerve areas nicely and generally giving something that nyc massage sex be construed as a professional massage.

I'm a typical millennial New Yorker — with an addiction to sex parlors

She kind of kept going back to the ass. Massage the left arm.

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Then hit the ass. The right arm, then the ass. It was excessive and, frankly, unprofessional. The technique was from a porn flick.

Who are we kidding. What nyc massage sex did really well, though, and after conferring with my two Bros afterward, did well for everyone, was this sort of tickle thing she did on our feet. But it did the job.

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I looked down at my beer gut and generally unimpressive body. I think I looked very confused.

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She began vigorously pointing at my schlong. She put on classical music a strange touchthen pumped about 65 ounces of lotion on her hands. And amssage went nyc massage sex it.

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And I am not ashamed to admit I lasted as long as a kid on prom night. It was glorious.

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I laid back wex looked up. After going to nyc massage sex her hands, she kept the massage going on my shoulders, then did a head massage which, in hindsight, was disgusting. Finally, the hour was up.

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Enlarge Image. Spa Sol James Messerschmidt.